A recent article in Good Housekeeping made a point about tasks that parents should be sure that their child learns by 10 years of age. Most of them are obviously life tasks. However, we often forget that they are not always obvious to someone who has never done them. We assume that children can do them. However, we never actually check.

For example, most of us do not mail many things. We assume that the basics are obvious. That is not true for a child who has never done it. They may need to be taught about when to use a stamp. They may need to be taught where to put the stamp. They may need to be taught how to address a letter to someone. They may need to be taught where to put the address. They may need to be taught about the return address.

You may think we live in a digital world, so letters are not necessary. Think about that for a second. How much nicer is it to receive a written thank you card than a reflex “thank you” text message? It adds a personal touch. The same can be said when asking about job searches. A written thank-you letter after an interview might set you apart from the other applicants.

My daughter has a big whiteboard where she lists all the formal activities for her three sons. However, what happens between those times? If the answer is that it is screen time, then there is something missing. Planning time is a life skill that children need to be taught. The fallback of a computer screen is not the most useful way to do that.

Children often get invited to parties of one sort or another. They bring a gift. If the parent always wraps the gift, it is a missed opportunity. By 10 years of age, gift wrapping is a skill that should be taught and used by the child.

Children often do things for which they receive a thank you. Sometimes they receive unexpected compliments. It is a good thing when that happens. However,  when does the child learn how to be gracious in accepting that compliment? That needs to be something for the parents to teach.

My mother taught my wife how to become a great Italian cook. People can always pick up a recipe book and follow it. However, parents teaching children how to cook meals creates an important life skill. It also gives the child and parent important bonding time since it usually involves working together for an extended period.

One of the things I did with my adolescent patients was change the seating arrangements in the office. I had two chairs. One was close to my desk. The other was on the outer side of that chair. For younger children, the parent occupied the closer chair. When the child became an adolescent, I asked them to occupy the closer chair. In just a few years, they were going to be attending appointments alone. It was time to learn how to talk to the doctor.

There are similar situations that require learning how to speak up in certain situations. Ordering meals in a restaurant is a good example. Parents need to seek out opportunities like these.

Budgeting money is an important life skill. That is why chores should not be tied to an allowance. It is important for children to have an allowance simply for the purpose of learning how to save up for something. They certainly will spend it freely initially but will learn over time.

Handling emergencies is important. We have all read articles about a young child that was able to dial 911 in an emergency situation. That is an important life task. However, there is more to it than that. Children need to know what to say when they reach the operator. They need to know if it is a medical emergency or a fire emergency. They need to know important addresses and phone numbers if needed.

In addition, they should know what to do when a smoke alarm of carbon monoxide alarm goes off. There should be a home evaluation plan in those situations.

There are many tasks that we tend to take for granted. We assume children will pick them up somewhere along the way. However, our role as parents is not to assume those things. We need to be sure we take an active role.